- Folk singers who stick their fingers in their ears. Get a proper P.A. system with foldback speakers, for fuck’s sake.
- People who wear trainers and tracky bottoms whilst having no intentions of visiting a gym or doing anything remotely sporty. Ever.
- Pool and snooker players that wiggle their middle fingers whilst queueing up. That’s all of ’em, basically.
- All Facebook members who refuse to put their picture on their profiles (excepting the Invisible Man, of course). It’s called Facebook because…?
- Inconsiderate shits who think it’s OK to keep on revving a stationary motorbike up, then riding it up and down the street without a helmet on to ‘make sure it’s working’. The engine’s on – it’s fucking working! OK?
- People who talk to dogs like they’re humans.
- People who talk to humans like they’re dogs.
- The cunt who wrote the Eastenders theme.