Calling it a ‘near miss’ when two aeroplanes nearly hit each other. No, they did miss. It should be called a ‘near hit’. Any twat that wears a baseball cap. Especially back-to-front. And with tracky bottoms on. Posers that wear sunglasses indoors. Or wear them on the top of their heads. Cunts! Pricks who say ‘my bad’. What kind of …
Extras
Have you noticed how many shops now offer you ‘extras’ when you take your goods to the till? For example, today I went into WH Smiths for the Beano, March’s edition of Razzle, the Chronicle of the 20th Century and a copy of the latest Janet & John adventure. I piled my purchases on the checkout counter, the lady takes …
BB’s Shit List, Pt.2
Folk singers who stick their fingers in their ears. Get a proper P.A. system with foldback speakers, for fuck’s sake. People who wear trainers and tracky bottoms whilst having no intentions of visiting a gym or doing anything remotely sporty. Ever. Pool and snooker players that wiggle their middle fingers whilst queueing up. That’s all of ’em, basically. All Facebook …
Valentine’s day
Pah! I got one, so I felt obliged to give one back. I hope she appreciates it. It cost me 50p.
Pleeeease – fuck off dancing
This is getting beyond a joke now. Yet another friggn’ dance show is starting… ‘Dancing on Wheels’ supposedly gives wheelchair users the chance to show off their ballroom prowess. Only they’re not actually dancing, are they? Because they can’t. More like they’re wheeling around the floor whilst some fit, scantily-clad tart cavorts around them. Now I know you can’t stop …
BB’s Shit List, Pt.1
Inspired by the grumpiness of Mick Moonshine in my previous post, I’ve decided to create my own Shit List. How’s this for starters… That black guy on the tele who says “Red Tomaaaatoooes”. Change the fuckin’ record! Folks who look inside their sandwich before taking a bite. Ain’t that why food hygiene standards were thought up? Pseudo-intellectuals who make ” …
Considerate parking
A dying art, I think. Look, for example, at this terrific bit of parking. On a corner so that drivers can’t see what’s coming the other way and taking up the full width of the pavement so that pedestrians have to step into the road to get round. Stunning! Appropriate choice of personalised number plate though.
Crap emails
Why is it, when the tossers that make up those circular email ‘jokes’ that we all get almost daily, that they think it’s alright to compose them in a friggin’ 70 point font or similar? On top of that, they colour them bright blue or, worse still, red. Even worse still, they make them red AND bold as well. Then, …
By gum
Chewing gum. What a foul-arsed habit that is! Look around your town. It’s on the pavements everywhere. What makes the inconsiderate fuckwits who use this stuff think it’s OK to gob it out onto the pavement and leave it where it lands? Never heard of dustbins, shit-for-brains? The photo here was taken on a side street in my town. Not …
Lovees, Dahlings
Well, the awards season has come round again. That time of the year when all the over paid, over privileged, kissy-faced, ego bloated tossers that make up the film industry give themselves a pat on the back. Last night it was the Golden Globes. Now I don’t watch award ceremonies because what really hacks me off is the way all …