Now I don’t very often agree with Supermarket policies, but I must say I’ll back them up about the ‘ginger’ Christmas card. If we can’t take the piss out of Gingas, what’s the world coming to? A quote on the BBC web site said: ‘she was shocked when she saw the card: “I picked it up and I couldn’t believe …
S.A.D.
Seasonally Adjusted Disorder. Or Seasonal Adjustment Disorder. Or Seasonal Affective Disorder. Whatever it is, I’ve got it. It’s dark when I don’t get up for work in the morning and it’s dark in the evening when I don’t come back home again. I’m SAD.
Bah, Humbug!
It’s just occurred to me that I’m going to have a cracking Christmas this year, and this is why… I’m out of work, so I haven’t got any money. No money means I can’t buy presents. Because I can’t afford presents it means I don’t have to trudge around the shops, rubbing shoulders with thousands of people who have fallen …
Post Office
Have you ever been to the Post Office to return a parcel for someone who says “just give the parcel, get the receipt stamped, and that’s it”. So you go down to the PO and there’s a queue outside the door and half way down the chuffin’ street. So you join the end of the queue and wait. And wait. …
Remote Remote
So good they named it twice? No. I’m referring to the fact that someone in our house (and it’s not me) always puts the TV remote control beside the TV when they switch it off. Then when I wake up in the morning and want to catch the news headlines, where’s the remote? Over the other side of the room, …
Church Bells…
What a friggin’ racket! They’ve been going now for at least half an hour. You can hear them all over town. They go on and on and on and on. A bit like me. I know what they’re for. It’s to announce to the world “Ooooooh! We’ve just got married”. Or “oooooooh! We’ve just christened our baby”. Well, here’s news …
Up in smoke
The Council switched the Christmas lights on this week. And a bloomin’ good show they put on too, with a gigantic TV screen in the Market Square and fireworks – lots of ’em. I watched them from my bedroom window. BOOOOOOOOOM – Aaaaah! BAANNNNG!!! – Aaaaha! SWOOOOOSH, KABUUUUUUUUM – Oooooooooooh! I love fireworks. However, these things come at a price. …
Horse re-spotted!
I saw the hi-vis horse again last night. In fact, I saw two of ’em. Not only that, somebody else saw them too. And I wasn’t drunk. So there!
Hi-vis horse?
Well, I know I was drunk at the time, but I did see a police horse wearing a yellow dayglow vest in town last night, even if nobody else saw it. Which just goes to prove the point in my previous post about everybody and his dog wearing them nowadays. And just to prove a point, here’s the dog. Now, …
Enough to send you bleeping mad!
Another observation about television land. Have you noticed, almost without exception, every time a computer screen is featured in a film or drama, it bleeps and whistles like R2D2 on friggin’ acid? Query: Bleeeeeeeeep blip blip blip dooooooooop! Zoom in: dit dit dit dit dit bweeeeeeeeb! Locked on target: Bloooop bloooop bloooop! Gimme a friggin’ break! Computers don’t do that. …